November 5, 2007 at 7:20 am (work)
Tags: stress
One of the reasons I’ve not had kids until now is work. Not that I’m one of these women who is “all career, all the time.” To the contrary; I spent most of my 20s as a “slacker,” waiting tables and travelling to Europe and Mexico for multiple months at a time.
When I hit 30, I realized a couple of things: 1) My body is going to fall apart if I keep waitressing and 2) My soul is going to fall apart if I don’t find something more meaningful to do with my life. Not to mention 3) I (still) had no money.
So to make a long story short, I worked my ass off for 13 years, and now that I’m pregnant, I’ve got the opportunity to reframe my job in the context of my life again. What an intriguing gift!
My job can be pretty stressful, although I work to disengage from that when I feel it come on. Sometimes I’m successful, but not usually. My acupuncturist is a big fan of me cutting back or easing out of the craziness, assuming that doesn’t create more financial stress. (Still running the numbers on that one, but I do have some padding.)
I’m six months away. Six months I could be writing, consulting, de-stressing, exercising, praying, playing music, writing more and writing more than that. I’d love to hear from others folks about what you did around the work thing. Did you work til right up til you delivered? What about after the baby was born? Did you set up some kind of work situation you knew you could go back to? Or did you free fall a little?
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October 16, 2007 at 2:41 am (lessons, relationships)
Tags: stress
I woke up on the couch after falling asleep with my book. I’m reading After the Ecstacy, the Laundry by Jack Kornfield.
As I lay there in the dark, I started ruminating about yesterday’s disagreement between C and me, doing mental cartwheels between “why is he such an asshole? blah blah blah” to “what am I supposed to be learning here? blah blah blah” to “I have GOT to breathe and calm down.”
I start to meditate, and at one point when I’m really deep, I feel this energy enter the left side of my body. It’s almost like someone is downloading an upgrade to my OS. The upgrade includes grounded, protective mommy energy that lands in my left thigh, and over my heart and just underneath my left rib. I lay there for a minute, feeling this new patch, letting it integrate with the rest of my system.
Thanks, whoever sent that. I’m going try to get back to sleep now.
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October 15, 2007 at 8:39 pm (development, lessons)
Tags: stress
So once every six weeks or so, C and I have some kind of major flare up. This time, like so many other times, it feels like a) we’ve made a ton of progress and b) we’re back to square one. Either way, I am aware of how important it is for me to stay grounded and centered these days (and despite wanting to kill C).
According to just about every source I’ve read on the subject, there is a high correlation between maternal stress, premature delivery and low birth weight. Moreover, elevated stress levels produce hormones called corticotrophins, which can influence the development of neurology responsible for personality and emotions, reduce blood flow to the fetus, slow down growth and normal organ development, and lower the mother’s immune system.
For me, this crappy stupid flare up was an opportunity to learn lesson #1: Doesn’t matter what’s going on, the bean needs me to be calm.
Deal.
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