1. Do not pay attention to any of the statistics. If someone starts talking to you about statistics, cover your ears and start reciting the Declaration of Independence until they stop. The only thing that knowing the statistics will do is make you worry, and worry is the LAST thing you should be spending energy on now.
2. Get 1 mg of folic acid a day. (Trader Joes sells bottles of 800 microgram tablets, so two of those per day should do the trick. Folic acid is water soluable so you can OD and nothing will happen.)
3. Do whatever your body wants. It will probably just want to eat, sleep and be moody. If you are an especially kinesthetic person, this can be a challenge, because you’re used to knowing what your body wants and how to take care of it. A lot of that will go out the window now because your body is now being colonized by a mute little space alien that’s jamming up a lot of your circuits.
Eating tips - Eat lots of little meals to avoid nausea. Handfuls of almonds between meals help a lot. If you’re going to chow, try to do so on healthy stuff. You could use it as an excuse to go on a Twinkie bender, but you prolly won’t feel that great when it’s done.
Sleeping tips - The research on caffeine and pregancy is mixed. Recent research suggests that a one cup of coffee a day is okay. I just went off of it altogether. But having no caffeine does add to the fatigue. Sleep as much as you can. If you have a partner, tell him this is normal and not to take it personally.
Mood Swings - Alas, this is another very normal part of it – the incessant mood jags which are only exacerbated by the aforementioned nausea and lack of sleep. I am an emotional person anyway so I’m not sure I have any good advice for this. Meditate and keep lots of Kleenex on hand?
4. Take one OB appointment at a time. My first visit, I barraged my OB with questions. “What tests will I need? What are all the possible problems and complications?” She looked at me lovingly and said, “One appointment at a time. Stay in the present.” This helps you a) stay focused on taking care of your body, which is your top priority now and b) also helps you not pay attention to all those blasted statistics!
5. Know that most miscarriages in the first trimester are due to genetic incompatabilities. This means that nature is doing its thang. You worry about doing your thang (eat, sleep, cry/scream) and let nature worry about the rest. If it’s not meant to happen, you will know you did everything you could.
6. More things you can choose to do or not do. Stay away from alcohol, hot tubs, synthetic hair dye, soft cheeses, and sushi. Keep tuna and other fish with higher mercury levels to once/week. Get acupuncture and massages and do pre-natal yoga. Don’t do regular yoga in your first trimester. The whole thing is about being gentle. Anything to help you feel more in your body.
7. If your boobs never got attention before, they will now. This can be fun, but they will be sore, so it’s a bit of a mixed blessing.
8. Don’t tell people unless you know they’ll be supportive. Some people got freaked out by the fact that I’m over 40. This really doesn’t help. I wish I hadn’t told them.
9. Your relationship may not adapt in the most perfect, optimal, sunshiney and idyllic way. The dynamic is changing rapidly – you’re going inward saying ‘omg wtf’ and he’s going ‘omg wtf’ too. Try to frame this whole pregnancy/kid thing as an adventure that you and your partner are on together. Give him updates how how you’re doing. C gets sick of hearing how shitty I feel, but at least it lets him know why I’m so crabby. He says it’s better than not hearing anything.
10. Read Annie Lamott’s Operating Instructions She cuts through all the bs and makes parenthood seem actually do-able.
…..hmmm. What did I miss?
