Okay so I have been crazy busy. What is the deal with that? I thought I was going to be relaxing and chilling and resting and not stressing by this point? No, turns out wrapping up your life on a dime with 40 extra pounds ADDS to your stress; it doesn’t reduce it.
So where does that leave me? Sad that I didn’t blog more. Thinking I’ll look back at this blog and go, “Damn did I fall off the planet?”
Kind of. We’ve been taking a lot of birthing classes, which have really helped me get my head around the various facets of this profound transition. I’ve researched the earthy crunchy techniques (hypnobirthing, chanting, aromatherapy, etc) as well as the allopathic ones (Fentynal – “JESUS F***! GET ME THE EPIDURAL NOW!”) but fortunately my midwife totally believes in the flow – and whatever is happening is where you start. She’s soo good. I’m so glad to be working with her.
I have been practicing going in and out of trance. Mostly this is because I am really bad with acute pain, but can handle it if there’s rhythm and its buildup is gradual. Hypnobirthing presents an intriguing tool set – it just takes a lot of time to practice and we’ve not really made it a priority. But I do practice mantras, and deep breathing exercises. I’ve always been good at going in and out of trance. Must step this up in the next few weeks too.
Been reading Babycatcher, by Peggy Vincent, which I REALLY recommend if you’re pregnant. She was one of the founders of Alta Bates’ alternative birthing center – a total radical with roots in the hospital where we’ll deliver. This book was billed as a collection of birth stories….which truth be told, I was apprehensive about reading at first. I have been asking just about everyone on the planet about their birth stories, and after hearing about one too many c-sections, it started to feel like too much.
But upon reading it, it’s not so much birth stories, but her journey from allopathic nurse to full on empowered badass midwife, and the birthing women she meets along the way. She has this major storehouse of info about “what works” and it’s been a joy to drink it up! An exceptionally great read.
We had hoped that our house would be done being built before the bean is born; now it looks like that’s not going to happen. I was pretty upset about this before – now I’m thinking – shit it’s just training for the total chaos and lack of predictability that this bean is going to bring to our lives. So why not get started with that sooner than later?
I’m also bringing the tools and mindset in closer – I’m putting together a mobile labor kit, with images, scents, sounds, talismans, good luck charms, soft stuff, etc to have wherever I need them.
C and I have been getting closer, too. More vulnerable, more playful, less uptight.
I’ve started dancing again too. Went to the midwife again today and she made it clear I have to de-stress more, and that’s an order.
