Pregnant Over 40

My amnio is on Monday.

Honestly, I’m a little grossed out by the whole idea of sticking a needle in my gut. Of course childbirth is much grosser than this, so I realize I will have to get over myself.

But the larger question is this: Do I find out the gender of this bean, or do I wait?

The pros for finding out are numerous. Perhaps most importantly, a lot of people have told me they “feel” like it’s a boy. Nobody seems to feel it’s a girl. In some ways, unconsciously I think, I have been assuming they’re right. It takes some effort to consciously reject their predictions and hold neutral energy toward the bean. And that’s really sort of dumb, because I can feel it’s affecting how I bond with, uh, him or her. So I want to get the straight scoop about that. Plus, it will help us scale back on the already-daunting list of potential names.

The cons are a little more amorphous. I get the sense that - among pregnant women - it’s not “cool” to find out. Or it’s more old school or something to wait til birth. Friends who have found out describe it as “peeking” or “couldn’t wait.”So I guess it’s about not spoiling the surprise. I suppose I do like the idea of being surprised, but shit I’m already going to be plenty surprised when the kid actually comes out!

Nope. I’m finding out.